Do you trust yourself?
On the surface it's a fairly straightforward question, but very few people have a straightforward answer.
Some responses I commonly hear to that question:
"I want to say yes, but if I am honest, probably not"
"Around somethings but not others"
"Kinda.. I really want to but I am not sure if I do"
"No, I am convinced I am broken"
Trust, especially self trust, may sound like a woo-woo, super spiritual, psychobabble term that couldn't't possibly contribute to better physical health or with healing our relationship with food and our body image.
But I am here to tell you that is is the most ESSENTIAL thing.
Trust, especially self trust, is the key to living healthier, happier, and more peaceful lives.
Currently I am re-reading "Daring Greatly" by Brene Brown.
In chapter 2 Brene explains that vulnerability emerged from her data as THE key to living more resilient and wholehearted lives.
She defines vulnerability as "uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure"
And what is the biggest obstacle to vulnerability? Trust.
More accurately, a lack of trust.
It's kinda the-chicken-or-the egg situation... because we need a foundation of trust in order to be vulnerable and yet we also need vulnerability in order to build trust.
So IF we want more joy, love, happiness, fun, ease, peace, connection, and pleasure in our lives THEN we must accept and practice vulnerability.
And in order to embrace and practice vulnerability, we need to work on re-building trust.
Brene explains that the biggest way we erode trust is by disengaging.
We stop caring as much, slowly stop paying attention as much, and stop doing the day-to-day hard work of maintaining relationships.
So if we want to re-build trust with ourselves we must take the steps to re-engage with ourselves!
Tune IN and get honest about your needs and desires.
Practice FEELING sensations in our body.
Spend quiet time with ourselves.
Go to therapy.
Have hard conversations with those we love.
Experiment with various forms of movement and creativity.
Practice self compassion.
Be-friend our bodies and our minds.
If on our quest for healing we are driven by fear we cannot rebuild trust or practice vulnerability.
Fear causes us to armor up and seek out short term safety instead of true belonging... if we are living numbed out, disassociated, externally validated, over-busy, over-stimulated, pain and risk averse life, then we can't rebuild trust with our body.
I invite you to be-friend yourself. To do the hard work of re-building trust with yourself and others. Be brave and lean into vulnerability.. and see what happens?
As always, I love to hear from you... feel free to reply with thoughts and updates. And remember, I trust you!